Unsettling Self-Revelations Gleaned on Facebook

by Michelle Gagnonfacebook

Normally, I ignore about three-quarters of the stuff that arrives in my inbox from social networking sites. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll friend pretty much anyone, and love reading people’s updates. But a lot of it is just downright puzzling, and frankly I don’t have time to garden, be a pseudo-vampire, or poke people (the pokes! Good God, the pokes! I’m never sure what the point is. If they were real instead of virtual I’d seriously be black and blue.)

But I’ll confess, I was swept up in the latest Facebook craze. You’ve probably heard of it, the "25 Things About Me" lists. I thought it was an interesting concept, along the lines of the "six word memoir" (my friend Lisa’s was great: "I always thought I’d be taller.") So I jumped on the proverbial bandwagon, and in the process learned some rather disturbing things about myself. Here, then, is the list of "unsettling self-revelations gleaned while composing my 25 things list." (not a very punchy title, is it?)

  1. I have what some might term an unhealthy preoccupation with food. In fact, unless I’d exercised some restraint, nearly all of my 25 things could have been food-related, from likes to loathes. As it stands, I managed to keep it to four. But the original list? Twenty out of twenty-five.
  2. I might possess a somewhat-inflated self-image. For example, I’ve always suspected that given a few weeks training, I could hustle pool. And that I’d make a great spy. This from a person who can’t hold a gun without trembling.
  3. Although I don’t gamble, 3 out of the 25 are gambling-related. Helloooo, Vegas.
  4. Many of them turned out to be things not so much about me, but about who I’d like to be, or what I’d like to be able to do. Which is kind of depressing when you think about it.

So I’m curious to hear what others think about this navel gazing. Of course, no sooner had I posted my list than one of my gracious friends kindly forwarded me this sardonic take on such lists. Thanks, Ian. Now I feel much better about the half hour dedicated to composing it.

My challenge this week: let’s hear those six word memoirs. Here’s mine: "Years of constant rejection, one success."

And for anyone who is curious, I give you…my 25 things:sushi

1. I loathe salmon. And no, you can’t prepare it in a way that I’ll actually love it. Many have tried. None have succeeded.
2. Also, not a fan of sushi. I still can’t figure out when it switched from being weird to eat raw fish, to being weird not to.
3. I still hold the Rhode Island State JV High Jump record.
4. I have an unpublished first novel that is self-indulgent and horrible and will never see the light of day.
 goat 5. I love goats. If I ever have a farm, I want a whole herd of fainting goats.
6. I’m a Unitarian Universalist.
7. I have an Irish passport.
8. I never get tired of watching the original Star Wars film.
9. I eat cheese every day.
10. I have a Mixology degree
11. I’ve always wanted to be able to do a back handspring
12. I’ll watch anything with Jackie Chan in it. Love those out-takes.
13. I once lived in Cleveland Heights, OH.
14. Despite numerous attempts, I never managed to finish reading Moby Dick.moby dick
15. I’ve always wanted to be a pool shark. But I’m terrible at the game.
16. I don’t gamble.
17. I can never remember what beats what in poker.
18. I smuggle my own popcorn into movies, since what I make is infinitely superior to the sorry excuse they serve.
19. I always thought I’d make a great spy.
20. I own a set of commemorative Elvis plates.
21. I recently got hooked on Sudoku. But I’m terrible at it.
22. I never studied calculus.
23. The only class I ever failed was ballet in college. Because I thought I’d dropped the class, never went, then discovered when grades came out that I was, in fact, still enrolled.
24. I once sang in a gospel choir. Even though…
25. I can’t sing.

and a bonus one…

26. I’ve only had gin once in my entire life. Drank nearly an entire bottle during a visit to a friend’s college, spent the night seriously regretting it, haven’t been able to stomach the stuff since. Shame, I know.

12 thoughts on “Unsettling Self-Revelations Gleaned on Facebook

  1. Michelle, here are my comments on your list πŸ™‚
    1. Substitute zucchini for salmon.
    2. I’ve found that if you fry up sushi, it tastes just like any other fish. Plus, if my body needs that much mercury, I’d rather eat a thermometer.
    3. I hold no records in Rhode Island.
    4. Ditto.
    5. How about goat’s milk?
    6. I’m a Frisbeeterian. I believe that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and won’t come down.
    7. I love Baileys Irish Cream
    8. I feel the same about the Bourne films.
    9. Ditto.
    10. I have a mixology problem.
    11. No way.
    12. And Jackie Gleason
    13. Why?
    14. Despite numerous attempts, I never started.
    15. How about a loan shark?
    16. I gamble everyday when I sit down to write
    17. I want to play poker with you!!
    18. Yes, but theater popcorn is so reasonably priced.
    19. I always thought I’d write a great story about a spy
    20. Why?
    21. I had to Google Sudoku
    22. Me neither.
    23. Needless to say, I didn’t take ballet.
    24. Me too.
    25. It’s debatable.
    26. Did that with scotch. Never tried it again.

  2. Okay Michelle you’ve inspired me! Here’s my 25 things:

    1. I like sushi as long as it’s cooked. Is that still sushi?

    2. I was the worst person ever who took golf at Wellesley College. My nickname was the “Divot Queen.”

    3. I filled out the remainder of my phys-ed requirements by taking a seminar called “Sports in Society”, where I wrote a paper about Formula One racing. For research, I watched a movie with Paul Newman in it.

    4. I was the Editor in Chief of my College newspapaper, the Wellesley News.

    5. I once hid in the bushes near Ted Kennedy’s house to see if he was home, while I was interning for a local TV station. His dogs found me.

    6. My first car was a British Racing Green Triumph TR6.

    7. I like to mix antiques with modern.

    8. In my southern high school, they taught the girls how to sit down in chairs properly during gym class, and to walk with books balanced on our heads.

    9. I love vintage jewelry. I used to like ivory except not any more because I’m afraid someone would accuse me of shooting Babar’s mother.

    10. I love cats. They have absolutely no impulse control, and never apologize.

    Okay, that was only ten things. And like the cat, I am not going to apologize!

  3. >10. I love cats. They have absolutely no impulse control, and never apologize.

    Kathryn, I’m a cat lover, too. But it’s important to remember that if cats had thumbs, they would kill us all in our sleep. πŸ™‚

  4. Joe, you’re right! In one of my books where they interview crime scene investigators, they say cats will eat people right away after they die. Dogs wait much longer. But I still love cats.

  5. Ah Michelle, I shall not succumb! I have a penchant for personality tests but I have so far resisted doing this list. Funny you should bring it up though as there is an article in the NYT today on just this very phenomenon! All I can say is I love sushi – would eat it every day if I could. Hate cats- give me Lassie any day of the week over those mean furballs. Hate sudoku but am a tad obsessive about the NYT crossword. And that’s all I shall deign to reveal today:)

  6. All this talk of sushi is making me hungry. Especially Salmon Sushi wrapped in hot spicy Kimchi…yeah baby.

    On the other hand, discussing sushi and cats in the same post has me thinking about last nights dinner…that little old Japanese lady at Sushi Spot, the one sitting in the corner behind the register, she kept staring at me…and grinning. Hmmmm

    I think I need some scotch and gin to rinse that taste out of my mouth now.

  7. I don’t get the poke thing, either. And despite being poked and prodded and not acknowledging the poking and prodding and not poking back, I still get poked. And I get plants. STOP WITH THE PLANTS! Seriously, what is the fascination with giving someone a virtual gift? I’m on Facebook purely so I can play Scramble. There is ONE person I’ve found that has made it worthwhile, but other than that, all those people in high school who’ve friended me that couldn’t be bothered with friending me when we were actually in high school? Um, yeah, I’ve moved on.

  8. Does anyone ever GET any plants? And what about those square miles of rain forest? Are those for real? And I totally REFUSE to take the IQ tests. I don’t want to be disappointed. Michelle, loved that link. That sums up my feline friends!

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