Since Saturday is Halloween, I thought I’d post a few crimes involving dumb criminals celebrating the holiday, whether it’s Halloween or not. Here’s the first one:
One clown shy of a full load.
AI generated
On July 20, 2019, motorists in Westminster, California, a black BMW drove north along the fast lane of the 405 freeway at a mere 2 to 3 miles per hour. On the roof of the car was a clown. More specifically, a man in a clown mask and a green wig, sat on top of the car. Police soon came to pull the luxury clown car over, but that’s when the clown decided to speed up. He fled up 405 at around 70 miles per hour, pursued by California Highway Patrol officers. The clown drove onto the 90 freeway before deciding to make for Venice Beach. At one point during this part of the chase, he climbed back onto the roof of the BMW and “began gesturing” at the police officers chasing him. Finally, the car stopped on the Ocean Front Walk, and the clown fled the vehicle, heading onto the beach. There, he interacted with unaware beachgoers, even stopping to help bury someone in the sand. After that, he took off his shirt and headed into the water. It was at this point that the police caught up with the clown and arrested him. A woman who was also in the BMW was questioned but ultimately released, and the chainsaw turned out to be a toy. The man’s motive for the bizarre incident was unclear. His bail was set at $75,000 while he awaited a court date.
What is it with clowns dressing like it was Halloween?
On the evening of February 6, 2016, a Jefferson County, Alabama, deputy was flagged down by a passing motorist. The concerned citizen had just witnessed a red Ford SUV lurching and weaving all over the road. The deputy soon caught up with the loopy Ford and pulled it over. At the wheel, he found a tipsy clown.
The driver was clearly quite drunk. He claimed that he’d only had a few drinks at a nearby restaurant. It remains uncertain what his definition of “a few” was. The drunk driver provided no explanation for why he was dressed as a clown.
He was arrested, and it turned out that he also had an outstanding felony warrant for theft. Despite his troubles, when he was photographed for his mugshot, he smiled for the camera. The chief deputy just shook his head and said, “I thought I had everything, but obviously I haven’t seen it all.
No clown here, just a unicorn
created with AI
March 16, 2019, a young man set out to rob a convenience store in Baldwin, Maryland, a small community not far from Baltimore. He presumably knew surveillance cameras would capture the incident, so he needed a disguise. He chose a pink and white unicorn costume.
At 5:00 AM, he walked into High’s Dairy Store, dressed in costume and brandishing a crowbar. He used the crowbar to smash a register before leaving with cash and cigarettes. After obtaining the loot, Rogge ditched the unicorn costume and got into a silver Hyundai Elantra driven by his accomplice. The car fled the area.
This daring escape was not to last, however. The two men hadn’t gone far before the driver crossed into oncoming traffic at an intersection. As a result, the car managed to make contact with mailboxes, a Baltimore Gas and Electric pole, shrubs, and a boulder before finally hitting a tree.
The two men were taken to nearby hospitals and upon release, both men were charged with theft, robbery, and armed robbery, destruction of property and first- and second-degree assault. Baltimore County police were able to recover the unicorn suit.
Long long ago when drinking establishments in Ottawa had one side for men and one side for women and escorts, I dressed up as a young man and went with a male friend to have a beer on the men’s side of the hotel. Daring in those days (possibly 1960). It was fun until I had to use the bathroom.
“What was the craziest thing you did on Halloween?”
A long, long time ago I was an usher at the theater showing The Rocky Horror Picture Show. 1981 about the peak RHPS mania. 600 people at midnight every weekend. Well more than a little craziness. 1981 Halloween is on Saturday. 600 costumed crazies. At the time, if you dressed like a “Rocky” character, you could get in free. In one scene, “Janet” is wearing just a bra and slip. Women started undressing at the ticket window. I had to check each one.
At the intersection of stupid tricks and Halloween.
A pizza story.
I worked 35 Halloweens. My second to last had an important life lesson. I had 6 pizzas going to an apartment building. In the hallway, a teenager dressed as a ninja asked what would happen if he grabbed the pizzas.
“You win a free trip to jail.”
He tried. I skipped a step. When he grabbed for the pizzas I grabbed him. Tossed him into a wall a few times. He ended up in a heap on the floor and I called the police. The police released him to his dad.
A few days later I am talking with the detective. I was working in Chesterfield, MO. A white bread suburb. While talking I told the detective to that I am pressing all of the charges. I learned to deliver pizza in Ferguson, MO. Yep, Michael Brown Ferguson. A place he won’t go without backup.
The junior ninja is charged and convicted of strong arm robbery and assault. He gave up 100 pounds in a strong arm robbery and was then convicted of an assault that left him black and blue.
Junior Ninja also got another life lesson. Despite it being against company policy, most of my pizza brothers and sisters carry. He could of easily been a puddle.