The Honest Epitaph

Photo: Ben Churchill [CC BY 2.0 (]

Having recently celebrated a birthday that was (once again) well past my life’s statistical half-point, I’m feeling a bit maudlin. And maudlin is so dull!

So, tell me. What would your honest epitaph be? It’s the very last bit of writing you share with the world. I’m not looking for the reverent words that loved ones will no doubt honor you with, but the words you would put on there if you didn’t mind embarrassing your kids, your partner/spouse, your mom.

Remember, it’s important to put honest bits of yourself into everything you write…

A few of mine:

“She Wasn’t Good, But She Had Good Intentions.” (via Lyle Lovett)

“Wait! That Wasn’t What I Meant to Say!”

“She Was F.I.N.E.”

“Go Away, I’m Reading”

“Of Course I’m Listening”

“She Was Late for Her Own Funeral”


Now it’s your turn, TKZers!




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About Laura Benedict

Laura Benedict is the Edgar- and ITW Thriller Award- nominated author of eight novels of suspense, including The Stranger Inside (Publishers Weekly starred review). Her Bliss House gothic trilogy includes The Abandoned Heart, Charlotte’s Story (Booklist starred review), and Bliss House. Her short fiction has appeared in Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, and in numerous anthologies like Thrillers: 100 Must-Reads, The Lineup: 20 Provocative Women Writers, and St. Louis Noir. A native of Cincinnati, she lives in Southern Illinois with her family. Visit her at

22 thoughts on “The Honest Epitaph

  1. I have several in mind:

    I need to cancel the book club.

    I’m done forgetting stuff

    Figure it out fast, you told the pilot

    Oh, great. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes,
    and me with my allergies

    I may be dead, but I’m ahead of you

    Okay. You were right. It was a poisonous snake

  2. Benjamin Franklin composed a jaunty epitaph for himself (not actually used), and since it’s public domain, maybe I’ll purloin it!

    The Body of B. Franklin, Printer;
    Like the Cover of an old Book,
    Its Contents torn out,
    And stript of its Lettering and Gilding,
    Lies here, Food for Worms.
    But the Work shall not be wholly lost:
    For it will, as he believ’d, appear once more,
    In a new & more perfect Edition,
    Corrected and Amended
    By the Author.

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