My summer vacation: Dodging bullets in Chicago

Okay, I didn’t literally dodge any bullets. But it felt like that last week when I was in Chicago, getting my daughter settled into art school.

It was my first-ever visit to the City of Big Shoulders, about which Saul Bellow famously said, “No realistic, sane person goes around Chicago without protection.”

Day One: My husband and I are eating in our hotel’s cafe when we hear a symphony of sirens filling the air. Outside the window, police cars are jamming into the street. We quickly discover that an aggressive panhandlers has gone ballistic; when the police try to pepper-spray him, he grabs an elderly man and holds a knife to his throat. The police surround him and shoot him at point-blank range. The panhandler is dead, the elderly man is okay; a police officer is also hit, but saved by his bullet-proof vest.

Day Two: Sometime during the move-in of my daughter into her new dorm, my wallet gets lifted by a pickpocket. Within two hours of the time I lost my wallet, the pickpocket buys a bunch of stuff at Bed, Bath and Beyond and launches a shopping blitzkrieg into Best Buy.

Day Three: During the parent orientation at my daughter’s new school, an administrator tries to reassure us about safety. They say that the kids can be escorted from building to building. Somehow I am not comforted by this announcement.


Day Four: I try to cash a check at our Marriott hotel (where we’re staying), and am told that I need my license to do that. I spend copious amounts of time discussing with a stone-faced clerk the reasons why this isn’t possible, since my wallet has been stolen. I even produce a copy of the police report. Stone Face is not impressed.

Day Five: I discover that it’s easier to get on an airplane without ID than it is to cash a check at the Marriott. Overall, boarding a plane sans license is a very instructive experience. The TSA grills me about the streets outside my home, where I was born, what states I’ve lived in, specific addresses where I’ve lived, the names of current and former employers, where I went to school, etc. I find it a bit alarming that the government has so much personal information in a file that they can access instantly. Then I start to worry that I’m flunking the test, because the TSA and I disagree about which states I’ve lived in. However, they let me board the plane.

Day Six through Now: In addition to suffering from empty-nest syndrome, I worry that I’ve released my chick into a flock of knife-wielding, pickpocket seagulls.

Of course, it’s all great material for a writer. But I seriously would have preferred to come up with a pickpocket story without the “research.”

How about you? Have you had any summer adventures you can share?

9 thoughts on “My summer vacation: Dodging bullets in Chicago

  1. Wow, Kathryn, one of those “you have to laugh or you’ll cry” stories. Early on I did a stint in Chicago, and from that point forward always carried my wallet in a front pocket. I never got mugged, but I did have a creepy encounter or two around The Loop.

    But lucky you. Material.

  2. I worked evenings in the Loop for about a year, walking from Monroe and Madison to Union Station after 9 at night, sometimes later. I never had a problem, or even felt threatened. Of course, I’m 6’1″ and weighed about 225 then, which helped, but if your daughter takes common sense precautions, she’s no more at risk in Chicago than any other large city.

  3. Jim, Jill, that’s what I was thinking, even as I was being grilled by the TSA–great material. I hadn’t even known it was possible to get onto a plane without ID these days. Joe, lol, I can imagine the Chamber of C. saying “Whose LA pot is calling our kettle black?”
    Dana, you’re probably right. She’s not used to dealing with any street issues, being from LA (where we never get out of our cars!).

  4. Wow. Makes me even more happy that I live in Alaska. It’s too cold for pick-pockets most of the time, and there are a lot of concealed weapons so potential muggers never know when they’ll die trying.

    When I lived, worked, & hung out in DC/Baltimore/Philly I intentionally went into some parts of town I shouldn’oughta’done. Never got mugged or even approached.

    I asked a guy about it after noticing how much other crime was going on.

    “Should I not be walking around here?” I said. “Is it too dangerous?”

    He raised an eyebrow and replied, “Dude. You’re a two hundred pound former Marine with a fifty inch chest and a flat top haircut who walks like a Drill Instructor. You look like a Swat Cop with an attitude. They ain’t gonna touch you unless their stupid.”

    I wonder, now that I am a middle aged chubby guy with a comb over if I could still walk through those neighborhoods unmolested.

    …I till have a 50 inch chest though…

  5. I assume the cop wasn’t shot by the panhandler since he was only armed with a knife. It’s possible that a dead voter shot him. Cities are pretty much cities, but at least Chicago has The Art Institute and Miller’s pub around the corner. Just tell her to always follow her instincts and keep her eyes and ears open and that there’s safety in numbers.

  6. John, the cop was shot by friendly fire–they were evidently all at (I guess) point-blank range, so a fragments evidently into one of the vests. Lily, she LOVES Chicago, so not much choice there. Basil, too funny! I’m sure you can still walk the mean streets anywhere and not get messed with.

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