When writers get published, we tend to pick up a few bad habits (actually, we usually pick up bad habits before we get published). These habits worsen over time, sometimes rising to the level of Writer’s Obsessive-compulsive Disorders (Wods).
Here are a few of the most common writing Wods:
Self-Googling
That just sounds dirty, doesn’t it? Self-Googling is when you set up a Google alert associated with your name. You’ll then get an email alert every time your name gets mentioned on the Worldwide Web. I’ve been Googling my name ever since my series hit the bookstores in ’07.
There’s nothing more gratifying than getting a Google alert that takes you to a positive review you’d known nothing about. Of course, there’s also a downside to Google alerts. Sometimes you get alerted about snarky reviews, the kind you could have gone all year without reading. Google alerts aren’t very “smart” as technology goes, so you can also get deluged by alerts about peoples’ names that are sort of like yours, but not really.
For example, my Google alert goes off every time Kathy Griffin (“My Life on the D-List”) is in the news.
How annoying is that? Let me put it this way–she may be on the D list, but Kathy Griffin gets mentioned on the Web a lot. Every time I get an alert nowadays, my first reaction is to sigh and say, “Dang. What’s that K-G-D woman up to now?”
You can also turn up downright weird stuff that’s posted about you on the Web.
Yesterday, for example, I got an alert about a blog that mentioned me. The blog’s content appeared to be a machine-translation of an interview I gave months ago. Swear to God, the following paragraph is a paste from the blog:
“Kathryn Lilley is a archaic receiver paragraphist who has written pressure disadvantage mystery novels. Her importune in advancement is a paranormal thriller and she blogs at The Kill Zone…I was born a pudgy indulge (9 pounds, 11.5 ounces!). When I was a teen-ager, my parents sent me to a residential eats clinic (read: bulky farm) in Durham, North Carolina.”
I spent some time puzzling over 1) who publishes that blog, 2) how I ended up on it, and 3) What the the heck is a “pudgy indulge”?
This is one mystery that may never be solved.
Checking Amazon numbers
Some writers won’t cop to it, but most of us check our Amazon rankings regularly. Often compulsively.
The problem with Amazon numbers (where the lower your number is, the better), is that they’re incredibly volatile. Amazon rankings bounce around faster than a Wham-O Super Ball.
So instead of compulsively checking my Amazon numbers on the Amazon site, I’ve started compulsively checking them at TitleZ.
TitleZ lets you track your Amazon numbers over time. You can even (pause for dramatic effect) get lifetime averages for your book’s rankings. Best of all, you can compare your book’s rankings to other books. So even when your lifetime numbers are looking bleak, you can always find an acquaintance’s book that is doing worse. Preferably an author you don’t like.
There are other writer’s compulsions. I recently added Blogpulse and Google Trends to my list of must-check daily sites. I won’t even pretend that Google Trends has anything to do with my writing. I simply have to know which search trends are Volcanic!, Spicy!, or Mild, on an hourly basis. Or else I die.
What about you? Do you have any writer’s compulsions/Wods that you can share? I have a book coming out on September 1st, so I’m in the market for a few more.
I like Goggle Alerts. Yes, it goggles my name and the name of my book and the name of my protagonists. I’ve come across a number of great blogs through the alerts. And I always make sure to drop by the comment section and thank the author for their kind words. (I haven’t had any bad reviews yet.) In fact, I’ve made friends that way. So I don’t think it’s an indulgence.
I don’t check my amazon rankings. I have a wonderful publisher who’ll send me an e-mail when my numbers climb or I make the top 5 in my niche. If it wasn’t for his occasional updates, I wouldn’t have a clue.
Goggle Trends sounds like fun. I might have to check that out tomorrow 🙂
Nadja
I check my Amazon ranking at least as often as I check my email. And as I happen to have a day job at a certain national book chain, I also check their internal website to see if they’ve posted my press release yet… they haven’t, soulless corporate bastards ;-(
NL, good for you for refraining from checking your Amazon numbers! That’s a healthy way to live. Sean, I totally understand about the hourly checking thing. Have you tried TitleZ? It helped me recover from my Amazon habit. But when TitleZ went down for a time recently, I went into withdrawal!
All my life I’ve wanted to be an archaic receiver paragraphist.
You must be so proud.
Just when I thought I had all the sub-genres down, along comes “pressure disadvantage mystery novels” This publishing stuff is so confusing.
Yes, I check my B&N ranks, Amazon numbers, and Google alerts. All writers do. If they say they don’t, they’re lying.
iTunes is the work of the devil. Temptation City. It’s just so easy to click “buy.”
So true, Dana–I’m truly proud to be dubbed a card-carrying archaic receiver paragraphist. Especially one who is importune in advancement! Mark, iTunes is the one money-pit I’ve avoided, probably only because I’ve been too cheap to buy an iPod!
First time I googled myself had nothing to do with writing or podcasting. The IRS called me and wanted an audit to find out why I had a few million in banks in Florida and the Bahamas. Upon self-googling I learned that there are six men named Basil Sands in North America.
1. Basil Me, the unknown writer
2. Basil my father, the fire chief
3. Basil the son of a different Basil
4. Basil Father of the other Basil
5. Basil the notorious drug smuggler/murderer imprisoned since the 70’s
6. Basil the President of the Bank of the Bahamas
So I called the IRS and informed them of my discovery. They called off the audit.
Googling yourself and even your family can be very informative. For instance I found out that my eight year old is apparently a world famous Cricket player in Hong Kong and my wife a porn star….which brought up a very interesting family conversation about what everyone does when I’m at work.
I have a google alert and have definitely been guilty of self- googling:) I try not to check Amazon numbers as its just too depressing!
Basil, I also google friends and family. I once discovered that an ex-boyfriend shares the same name as an infamous rapist. Everyone who Googles him will have a moment of thinking, “Oh my God, is that him?” Since that boyfriend was a bit of a jerk, I can’t say I was sorry to make this discovery!
I don’t check my rankings, and I’m not lying! I’ve only done so to check out the uptick from a certain marketing move. Other than that, it does nothing for me. And I don’t Google myself (which is, anyway, illegal in some parts of the deep South).
That blog you found is a splog. It is a site that randomly picks up content, scrambles the words, and republishes it as a way of building content for Google bots to find. They make money by running ads on the blog. Strange, but it seems to work, because there are many of them.
Thank you, MrGooleAlerts! A splog! I’d heard that term before, but didn’t know what it was. I guess I’ve been “splogged” several times, then. When I find those guys, I’m gonna demand my splog’s reward!