In today’s Words of Wisdom, James Scott Bell gives us advice and an example of how make trouble for our hero in the midst of an ordinary day. Claire Langley-Hawthorne shares her approach in coming up with names for characters. Sue Coletta gives tips on how to misdirect the reader with characters.
We start to care about characters when trouble—or the hint of it—comes along, which is why, whenever I sign a copy of Conflict & Suspense, I always write, Make trouble!
Now, there are two ways to disturb HPHL [Happy People Happy Life] in the opening. One is something happening that is not normal, as I mentioned above. It’s an “outside” disturbance, if you will.
But there’s another way, from the “inside.” You can give us a character’s ordinary day as it unfolds—while finding a way to mess it up.
That’s the strategy Michael Crichton uses in his 1994 novel, Disclosure (made into a movie with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore).
The plot centers around Tom Sanders, an mid-level executive at a thriving digital company in Seattle. He’s married to a successful lawyer named Susan. They live in a nice house on Bainbridge Island, with their four-year-old daughter and nine-month-old son.
As the book opens, we learn that Sanders expects this to be a good day. He’s sure he’s going to be promoted to head of his division, which will set him up for a windfall of millions after an expected merger and IPO. So it’s essential he get to the office on time.
Crichton is not going to let that happen. Here’s the first paragraph:
Tom Sanders never intended to be late for work on Monday, June 15. At 7:30 in the morning, he stepped into the shower at his home on Bainbridge Island. He knew he had to shave, dress, and leave the house in ten minutes if he was to make the 7:50 ferry and arrive at work by 8:30, in time to go over the remaining points with Stephanie Kaplan before they went into the meeting with the lawyers from Conley-White.
So Tom is in the shower when—
“Tom? Where are you? Tom?”
His wife, Susan, was calling from the bedroom. He ducked his head out of the spray.
“I’m in the shower!”
She said something in reply, but he didn’t hear it. He stepped out, reaching for a towel. “What?”
“I said, Can you feed the kids?”
His wife was an attorney who worked four days a week at a downtown firm.
So now he’s got to feed the kids? He hasn’t got time! But that’s life with two working parents, so he quickly begins to shave. Outside the bathroom, he hears his kids starting to cry because Mom can’t attend their every need. Crichton stretches out this sequence. Even something as innocuous as shaving can be tense when the kids are wailing.
Tom finally emerges from the bathroom, with only a towel around him, as he scoops up the kids to feed them.
Susan called after him: “Don’t forget Matt needs vitamins in his cereal. One dropperful. And don’t give him any more of the rice cereal, he spits it out. He likes wheat now.”
She went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
His daughter looked at him with serious eyes. “Is this going to be one of those days, Daddy?”
“Yeah, it looks like it.”
Exactly!
He mixed the wheat cereal for Matt, and put it in front of his son. Then he set Eliza’s bowl on the table, poured in the Chex, glanced at her.
“Enough?”
“Yes.”
He poured the milk for her.
“No, Dad!” his daughter howled, bursting into tears. “I wanted to pour the milk!”
“Sorry, Lize—”
“Take it out— take the milk out—” She was shrieking, completely hysterical.
“I’m sorry, Lize, but this is—”
“I wanted to pour the milk!” She slid off her seat to the ground, where she lay kicking her heels on the floor. “Take it out, take the milk out!”
Every parent knows how true to life this is. A four-year old has definite ideas on their routine, and what they want to control!
“I’m sorry,” Sanders said. “You’ll just have to eat it, Lize.”
He sat down at the table beside Matt to feed him. Matt stuck his hand in his cereal and smeared it across his eyes. He, too, began to cry.
Can’t you just picture this?
Sanders got a dish towel to wipe Matt’s face. He noticed that the kitchen clock now said five to eight. He thought that he’d better call the office, to warn them he would be late. But he’d have to quiet Eliza first: she was still on the floor, kicking and screaming about the milk.
“All right, Eliza, take it easy. Take it easy.” He got a fresh bowl, poured more cereal, and gave her the carton of milk to pour herself. “Here.”
She crossed her arms and pouted. “I don’t want it.”
“Eliza, you pour that milk this minute.”
Throughout the scene he’s looking at the clock, trying to gauge how late he will be. At the end of the chapter, Susan has finally come to Tom’s rescue, and says—
“I’ll take over now. You don’t want to be late. Isn’t today the big day? When they announce your promotion?”
“I hope so.”
“Call me as soon as you hear.”
“I will.” Sanders got up, cinched the towel around his waist, and headed upstairs to get dressed. There was always traffic before the 8:20 ferry. He would have to hurry to make it.
End of chapter. We want to read on. After what this guy’s been through just to get ready for work, we hope he’s day’s going to get better.
It’s not, of course. This is Michael Crichton. Things are about to get a whole lot worse for Mr. Tom Sanders.
This strategy will work whether you open in a home or office; in a car or on a boat; in a coffee house or Waffle House.
Just decide to be mean. Mess up your character’s day.
James Scott Bell—October 14, 2018
Character names
Finding the right name for a character is always a critical first step for me. I can’t just put in a placeholder or any old name in a first draft, I really have to be sure of at least the main character’s name before I can find the right voice. Usually female character names are easy – they come to me right away, or at least after just a little historical research (when you write historical like I do, the last thing you want is a modern name that’s completely wrong for the period). When it comes to male characters, however, there’s always some degree of angst. For example, in my current WIP I’ve only just realized that I’m using the same name for my principal male protagonist as in a book a wrote a few years ago – so obviously I have some favorites that I need to eliminate:) I also avoid names of ex-boyfriends or former colleagues (I find it difficult to separate the real person from the imaginary one when using particular names). When it comes to female characters I don’t seem to have the same sensitivity (I also accidentally named a maid after my sister and had no idea until she pointed this out to me…). In my current WIP I can’t work out exactly why the name of the antagonist doesn’t fit (my beta readers are happy with it after all), all I know is that it doesn’t…and I’m struggling to find a name that does.
This character angst has got me desperately looking for new naming strategies including scouring my bookshelves for random author and character names in the hope that these strike some inspiration (nope…) and resorting to baby naming websites (also with little success). So what to do when a character’s name is so elusive?? Honestly, I’m not sure (but maybe you TKZers can help!).
When starting a first draft I often ‘try on’ a couple of character names for my main protagonist (or protagonists) as I work through accessing their voice and POV.
Claire Langley-Hawthorne—April 26, 2021
Character Misdirection
Character misdirection is when the protagonist (and reader) believes a secondary character fulfills one role when, in fact, he fulfills the opposite.
Two types of character misdirection.
- False Ally
- False Enemy
These two characters are not what they seem on the surface. They provide opportunities for dichotomy, juxtaposition, insights into the protagonist, theme, plot, and plot twists. They’re useful characters and so much fun to write.
A false ally is a character who acts like they’re on the protagonist’s side when they really have ulterior motives. The protagonist trusts the false ally. The reader will, too. Until the moment when the character unmasks, revealing their false façade and true intention.
A false enemy is a character the protagonist does not trust. Past experiences with this character warn the protagonist to be wary. But this time, the false enemy wants to help the protagonist.
When Hannibal Lecter tries to help Clarice, she’s leery about trusting a serial killing cannibal. The reader is too.
What type of character is Hannibal Lecter, a false ally or false enemy?
An argument could be made for both. On one hand, he acts like a false enemy, but he does have his own agenda. Thomas Harris blurred the lines between the two. What emerged is a multifaceted character that we’ve analyzed for years.
When crafting a false ally or false enemy, it’s fine to fit the character into one of these roles. Or, like Harris, add shades of gray.
Sue Coletta—December 13, 2021
***
- Do you find trouble in your characters’ “ordinary day?” If so, any tips?
- How do you come up with names for your characters? I’ve used the U.S. Social Security tools for popular baby names by year and decade as well as baby name and other name guides.
- Do you create false allies or false enemies in your fiction? Any advice on how to do so?
False allies are fun to create. I make them sweet and agreeable, but they always just happen to show up at certain places (as if they’re stalking the MC or just missed nabbing the burglar).
“Sweet and agreeable” while just happening to show up at crucial moments is a perfect combo for a false ally. Well done!
My latest wip centers on a false ally, and darn if you don’t have some great ideas here. Thanks once again, KZ!
Glad today’s post was well timed, Michael. Happy scheming!
Good compilation, Dale. Thanks!
IRL, the most ordinary day can change in a blink. I’ve seen it happen many times where one small, seemingly inconsequential decision turns the world upside down.
The first line in my soon-to-be-published thriller is dialog: “Don’t tell Dad I’m in town.” The main character is having coffee with her stepdaughter who is keeping a secret. An ordinary coffee date leads to a case of arson and murder.
I still struggle with keeping names straight. In my WIP I changed the name of one character then realized later it was almost identical to another character’s.That’s what happens to disorganized pantsers who don’t maintain a proper log of names. Bad Debbie.
False allies and false enemies are a fun challenge to write b/c you want to drop hints but not reveal the truth too early.
Thanks, Debbie!
Excellent point that an ordinary day can go south in an instant. That first line is terrific–sets up questions at once, and foreshadows trouble.
Even outliners like me can have that problem when we’re writing in flow–in my last book I somehow switched the name of a suspect with the murder victim–fortunately my beta readers flagged it.
Useful information, Dale. In my current published novel, “A Scarlet Death,” my character is having an ordinary work day when she gets a call from her lover that he’s been shot and he loves her. The phone goes dead.
Now that’s how an ordinary day goes utterly pear-shaped, Elaine! The reader must find out what happens next.
Great selections, Dale. I’ve used the “false ally” before, and it’s a great misdirection tool.
I like to imbed hints of people I’ve known in some of my characters’ names. I may change the letters around or use just part of a name. It makes naming a lot of fun.
Have a great rest of the weekend!
Thanks, Kay! That’s a neat idea to “imbed hints” of people you’ve known in your characters names.
Hope you have a wonderful rest of the weekend as well.